Fire! Fire! Scream!

Can we tone it down a little, and look carefully at real solutions?

I am about to write about my ideas for Toronto’s budget, but that post is being bumped by this one about the smoke in the air - and the news - these last few days.

There is a pattern I’m seeing more and more both in the world and myself. First, there’s a precipitating event, in this case, fires across Ontario and Quebec and smog laden air in our city. Then, there’s the alarmist, fear inducing mainstream coverage suggesting certain doom if we don’t act RIGHT NOW, along with calls for other people (never us) to do something about it. Next, the predictable worst possible response to the event (I love Douglas Copeland’s line about this in Gen X¹) - in this case, telling everyone to mask outside, avoid exercise and keep children indoors (my son’s outdoor recesses have been cancelled). The fact that the air we breathe in our homes is the same air that is outside seems to escape notice when we are exhorted to lock our doors and hide inside.

That’s the pattern I see in the outside world. Now for the pattern I see in myself. First, I too feel the initial alarm. I don’t like the smell, the haze, or the coughing I’ve experienced these past few days. I start to feel big fear - this is it, we’ve gone too far, our world is ever more a place of danger and we’ll never again be able to breathe clean air. We’re on The Road that Cormac McCarthy warned about and all the images from every doomsday scenario I’ve ever seen or read about come flooding into my mind. From the fear comes the anger as I selectively look at the external world’s response - I start to lay blame on others and want to wrest control from them. Mid-rant about the situation I said only half jokingly to a friend “why are all the stupid people in charge doing everything wrong? Why not me when I would do everything right?” (lol)

Just when I’m at peak emotional turmoil, I recognize the pattern I’m in. Then, finally, comes the good part. I realize I’m in my own self created hell - in this case literally fires of panic and fury raging inside me far greater than the ones outside. And once I notice that, I can step aside for a moment. Take a breath. Reassess my immediate surroundings. See that there is nothing especially obvious for me to do other than act with compassion and take care of the people and environment I can touch - my family, my friends, my garden and the streets I walk on. By realizing if I’m lost in my mind I’m not going to actually be able to help the situation. And that by staying grounded and aware I can be present to notice if an opportunity arises to respond in helpful ways.

When I get wrapped too tightly in fear or anger, it’s also a time to remember that I don’t know what’s going on outside my direct experience, and, contrary to what my ego insists, I don’t know what will happen in ten years, ten days or even ten minutes from now. I remember that the world of form I’m in is an illusion that feels incredibly real because of how our brains are wired and conditioned, but that the illusion isn’t the whole story. Underneath the illusion is a world devoid of separation, a world of fluid energy and grace, and we can access that through remaining connected to what’s right in front of our nose. Understanding the illusion doesn’t mean we sit back and relax if there’s fire right in front of us (this is my all time favourite gif for our world today).

But it does mean that we can make thoughtful decisions instead of reactionary ones driven by panic.

Whether we should stay indoors or go outside, exercise more or less, wear masks or not is up to each of us. We can choose to be alert to what we see, feel, hear, taste and touch to guide us, or we can rely solely on the words of conventional media (or alternative media that pushes its own narratives too). We can support government policy and corporate structures that create fire and disease prone monoculture tree plantations, or we can promote diverse and regenerative forests, prairies and wetlands.

I favour going out to meet the reality around us and addressing what we can do. If we are really concerned about air quality right now, City Hall could halt all governmental use of internal combustion engines, and optional energy consumption activities until the air quality improves and encourage others to do the same. I’d like to use the awareness of how this smog is degrading our quality of life to come together with others and redesign our economic system in favour of industrial healing so that we reward the enhancement of our life support systems rather than the degradation of them.

Ultimately all our choices, and our ability to enjoy life, depend on our own inner landscapes. And fortunately for us, those are the ones whose fires we can put out ourselves right now.

1. "And out of this will come a lesson: out of any disaster the most intoxicating lesson will be learned; out of any disaster the most destructive, lying lesson will be learned; out of any disaster the lesson that will be learned is this: out of disaster will come the opportunity to replace one thing with another thing which is more deadlier, more dangerous, more secure, more pleasurable, and the lesson will not have been learned."