Human Being or Human Doing

How important are our achievements?

Photo by Simon Infanger on Unsplash

What do you DO? That’s my least favourite question - though it’s often the first one (and depending on how my answer is received, the last) when I meet new people. Even when I had a full time job I found it tricky because my roles weren’t easy to describe -“I’m the executive director of the Black Creek Regional Transportation Management Association” doesn’t really roll off the tongue or mean anything to people who aren’t public transit nerds like me. After I quit full time work to stay home with my kids it got even harder. When people asked me the question I’d get flustered and either blurt out a lengthy version of my life history or say lamely and apologetically “Oh, I’m just a mom” which to my own self judgemental ears (and sometimes I imagine to those of my high achieving questioners ) sounded unimpressive to say the least.

This isn’t an essay about whether a life at home is worthy - plenty of people have written on motherhood or domestic life - but more about that question in a larger sense of whether we should evaluate ourselves by what we do. Even with friends whose professions or lifestyles we know about, we often ask each other “so what are you doing these days?” For me inevitably these questions - asked in friendly curiosity (and I ask others the same thing) spark internal questions about my productivity, my contribution, and whether I’m doing enough at home (have I cooked healthy enough meals or am I keeping our home well maintained), professionally (is my unpaid writer status and fifth place mayoral finish embarrassing?), and morally (am I doing enough to help people and the planet)? For me, these internal questions quickly degenerate into rumination rather than leading to any kind of productive action.

Ultimately though, do judgements and rankings based on accomplishments really serve either ourselves or the society in which we live?

One of my favourite quotes (one of the few things I remember from poetry at school) is Ozymandias by Percy Bysse Shelley:

I met a traveller from an antique land, Who said—“Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand, Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown, And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command, Tell that its sculptor well those passions read Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things, The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed; And on the pedestal, these words appear: My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare The lone and level sands stretch far away.”

It comes to me when those “I haven’t done enough” thoughts arise. No matter what we do, or what happens - from the smallest act to the largest planetary change - given enough time our impact will be forever erased.

At first read some might find that discouraging - that our acts or names won’t persist for perpetuity is a reminder of our own mortality. But to me this knowledge represents a kind of liberation. For if our accomplishments don’t matter in the long term, we are free to do what brings us joy in the moment. Living in the present moment is where we can have an impact that we can see and benefit from right now, which is the only place that matters.

For me personally, my struggles over what to do lead me to neglect what’s around me in the present moment. My internal ruminations on what more I should be doing to end the suffering of people around the world causes me to miss opportunities to be kind to my own family. When I’m preoccupied with not doing enough to save the planet I lack the awareness to appreciate the beauty of the ravine around me - and maybe pick up a piece of garbage or join a park stewardship crew for an afternoon.

There is no one other than ourselves who is keeping a tally of whether or not we have done “enough” today, this year, or in our lives. Ambition and drive - those “shoulds” that move us forward with constant action and accomplishment - are prized values in our society today, but they are not the only “right” ways to approach life. One person may climb mountains or to the top of the corporate ladder, win prizes or the adoration of millions, but their value is never greater than the person who stays quiet.

If we look at a day in the life of someone who isn’t doing anything except quietly sitting at home, on a street corner, or in a park, what is their value? They aren’t yelling anyone as they cut them off in traffic. They aren’t producing mountains of garbage that those working in much of our economy inadvertently do. They aren’t getting irritated at a cashier as they wait in line, or berating children or family members for their failings. In a way, a person who “does nothing” is embodying the peace that we want for the world.

Anyone that says we aren’t doing enough, be it an external source (like the advertisers whose goal is to make us feel inadequate so we buy stuff) or internal narrator (I’m very familiar with mine) is failing to remember that there’s no accomplishment that persists over time, and no judge who will reward us for checking off enough boxes on our to do list when we’re on our deathbeds.

Instead, what we do, when we do it, and how we do it, in the grand scheme of things matters only according to how it makes us feel. So perhaps we can give ourselves a break in the pressure of achievement and instead value each other for simply existing as part of the web of life on this amazing planet.

It might not be easy to replace our opening conversational gambit during this holiday’s round of parties with a deep philosophical question that gets at the very essence of our lives and who we are, but I hope that in my next conversation I will pause to really connect with who the other person is rather than judging them for what they are doing.

Human doings are simply a set of actions we take that are ephemeral in their impact. Human beings are who we are.